Quiet is OK

I've recently started re-reading Quiet by Susan Cain. I had only read about a quarter of it the first time, which I don't understand since I can't put it down, and I can't help but notice a difference in my demeanor already. It's a book that talks about how society has been cultivated to embrace an extroverted mindset and how it's told us how important gregariousness is to personal growth. It talks about how there are many people (like myself) who prefer to do things in solitude that have to pretend in order to succeed. It talks about a cultural shift and how obsessed this US of A is with business. How "selling" became essential for not only businesses but for socializingtoo. I mean when you see social media today, it's just a bunch of people selling their lives trying to impress others, which actually only makes people feel down or jealous.

There's been a shift for me both mentally and emotionally. I've realized just how active I've been on Instagram just posting for a reply or likes. How I never gave a shit about it but how much I felt like I've needed to participate. Spacehey is at my pace. I see what I want and express myself how I wish. It's great. 

The guilt I felt for saying "no thanks" to an invite out used to have me feeling like I was a dick or just mentally unwell. Especially since I do enjoy hanging out with friends. How too much talking or too many people in the room makes me feel overwhelmed and I usually have to walk away. It had me feeling anti-social even though I enjoy listening to what others have to say (if its interesting). I don't need to. When things are too much I should give myself some space. Clear my head. Think.

I don't need to participate just because everyone else is. More likely than not whatever it is they're participating in, its probably fuckin' stupid.

I feel it's also been difficult considering my family is Puerto Rican meaning they're loud and talk over each other constantly. Rarely have I ever got a word in and they love to make it apparent that I'm super quiet. It sucks when it happens but I've learned to deal with it. I just don't feel weird about it now. If anything I see it all through a different lens. So desperate to get a word in for conversations that happen just to gossip or pass the time. None of it meaningful, none of it poetic.

If you're like me, an introvert, I highly recommend Quiet. I haven't finished it but what I've read so far has brought a sense of calm. Quiet is OK. In fact for us, it's the best way to be.