how i became a person who cant understand they are a person 90% of the time and needs to resort to heavy violence towards self to do so

toda i woke up and chose nothing great.

i miss going in the sea, but i dont miss any particular weather, not sun, rain, snow, cold, i just miss swimming, i miss things, but im not sure of other things i miss, i dont know what im experiencing, its been weird lately, i miss being underwater .

dam that made like no sense, man:p