Why Submarine Man's Songs DO NOT Suck

Who the HELL is SUBMARINE MAN?

Well, Submarine Man is the BEST artist you will EVER listen to. His music is the PEAK of parody music, and his irony levels are UNMATCHED. You see, I've found this list on the GoAnimate V20 wiki about why he sucks, and I'm here to DESTROY THAT LIST WITH FACTS AND LOGIC.

However, there ARE some things I can not defend.

"His music videos ... steal footage from other hip hop videos and movies."

"He, Lil Flexer, Lama Doodle and Lil Meerkat have a really bad habit of putting fake VEVO watermarks into their music videos' thumbnails as clickbait in order to attract fans of VEVO to watch their horrible videos."

That stuff's KINDA messed up. There are WAY BETTER ways to get attention than putting fake VEVO watermarks. Also, stealing footage is, like, not cool and stuff.

That stuff aside, I'm here to take the REST of the list apart and explain why these people are WRONG.

HOWEVER, do NOT go and attack the people who made the list. THEY ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND STUFF

Alright, pretend I've got some really good transition into the list, because I've got nothing.

#1. "His songs have way too much Auto-Tune to the point that he sounds robotic."

Many artists do this. Hell, have you heard of HATSUNE MIKU? The amount of auto-tune this guy does is SUPPOSED TO BE RIDICULOUS. That's part of the joke.

#2. "His lyrics are abysmal and are mostly about how he has a foot fetish. He also has an obsession with shaving heads and feet as evidenced by his songs 'Shave That Stinky Head' and 'Shavin' Stinky Feet'."

There is a part of this I actually CAN NOT DEFEND. If he genuinely has a fetish, good for him, who cares. But if he's doing this to MOCK PEOPLE WITH THESE FETISHES, that's weird. Also, I don't think it has been suggested AT ALL that he has a fetish, just that he likes feet.

#3. "He claims to have been born in 1993, but sounds like he's under the age of 10."

This argument is HORRIBLE. Do you really think this guy is 30 YEARS OLD? He probably just said that to TROLL PEOPLE. Also, voice filters are like MAGIC. I could pitch my voice up a bit and I would sound like I am SIX YEARS OLD.

#4. "He has a rating of 9/100 on Album Of The Year."

Album Of The Year is full of HORSESHIT. Don't take that stuff seriously, those opinions are ENTIRELY SUBJECTIVE.

#5. "His music videos are terrible and are all made in the animation program, Plotagon."

They're just so bad that they're GOOD, y'know? Also, PLOTAGON IS AWESOME. It's, like, 3D GoAnimate. And we all LOVE GOANIMATE HERE.

#6. "In his song "Go Dumb" he calls Eminem an 'old fart'."

Look, I don't agree with that. BUT Eminem is SUPER POPULAR. There's gonna be people out there that're gonna diss him.

#7. "He ruins good songs with his own remixes and renditions (ex. 'Unforgettable', 'Look at Me', 'Mask Off' and 'Sicko Mode')."

It's called PARODY. It's, like, a more IRONIC version of WEIRD AL. Besides, they're funny.

#8. "He says that he likes to eat dog poop in many of his songs such as 'Dog Walk', 'Stinko Foot' and 'Take Off Your Shoes and Socks // The Jamz of Jamz'."

Man, there's probably people who eat PISS IN A BOWL WITH A SPOON. Leave the guy be.

#9. "His album covers are laughable and poor quality, usually being made in Plotagon."

At least he actually MADE THEM. There are artists that use AI TO MAKE THEIR ALBUM COVERS. And he also ACTUALLY EDITS THE ALBUM COVERS instead of ONLY USING PLOTAGON. EX:


#10. "YouTube channel Hip-Hop HQ made a video called 'The Worst Rappers of All Time' and he was number 1."

Man, he's just a hater. Just like I said earlier, those opinions are subjective. If I was that guy, he wouldn't even BE ON THAT LIST.

#11. "His music doesn't even qualify as music and his beats are terrible."

Alright. Let's see what qualifies as MUSIC.
"the art of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion".
That's definitely music. With that logic, NO RAP SONGS count as music.

#12. "His song titles are just so dumb or some don't make any sense."

There are MANY SONGS with titles that have NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SONG. Also, "Stinko Foot" is a GREAT SONG TITLE.

#13. "He literally dissed the founder and CEO of his label, Lil Flexer, just for making fun of Drake! This shows that he can't take any criticism at all."

Okay this one aged poorly, since we all know Drake isn't a really good person anymore. BUT, at the time, he could've been a DIEHARD fan of Drake.

Skipping #14 because I went over it in the stuff I can't defend (the VEVO one.)

#15. "His audio quality is terrible and lots of times unbearable to listen to, especially on his 'The Bad Boy' EP."

BE. SO. FR. I have spent SEVERAL HOURS listening to ONLY SUBMARINE MAN and I have enjoyed EVERY SECOND OF IT. It is absolutely NOT UNBEARABLE.

#16. "He makes already bad songs like 'Mo Bamba' by Sheck Wes and 'I Love It' by Lil Pump and Kanye West even worse with his atrocious 'covers'."

Like I said, it's called PARODY. He could easily be dissing those songs by making covers of them.

#17. "Based on his online activity, it seems that he is serious about the content in his songs which makes his music sound even worse."

Do you know how EASY it is to pretend you're serious? Right now, I could be LYING about my love for THIS ARTIST. You would never know if I'm being serious or not. It's easy to lie about this stuff, man.

Okay, last one.

#18. "He cannot freestyle at all as evidenced by his 2019 Flex Gang Freshman freestyle."

Freestyling ain't easy. Not everyone can do it well. It takes time to write lyrics, and coming up with them on the spot can be really difficult.

Gog, I'm so tired. But there, I just spilled my heart, and guts, and soul out just to defend Submarine Man. I hope you enjoyed the entertainment. I'm outta here. PEECE.