i srs dunno whats up w me mentally xd

i think i have some mental issuez, cuz i just.. dont feel real sometimez. i touch something, but it feels just like a game. like im living on a screen. nothing i do meanz anything to the plot, and sometimez it feels like nothing truly matters, that i am fake, and everything is meaningless. alzo, i had these rlly bizzare mental attacks a long time ago for one full week. the strongest attack was the first. it happened out of the blue in choir class. i felt like i was dying, my brain yelled thingz like "you are nothing. god isnt even real. everything you love will dissapear before your eyes" stuff like that and existential stuff. i was breathing kinda heavily i remember that, and it felt like my heart was ripped out and thrown into the void, i felt like i waz gonna EXPLODE!! it felt like it was like 20 minutez, but i think it was only like 5 or lezz. sooo- what? lolz. i always feel not real, i do right now actually. but sometimes, i feel real. usually when im happy and feel like im rlly a kid, enjoying my childhood fully. though, im 13 n idk if thats childhood still or not, but if it is, my childhood is as spoiled as cheese. anywayz, when i feel like that, its like everything turns hd. i realize i can feel things truly and itz not just fake, i realize, im actually here. i exist. and everything just feelz brighter. it lasts a few minutes and slowly fades away, but itz very nice. i feel like im on a screen right now tho. i feel digital, not real. what i feel is fake. i may just be crazy. but who knowz.