idk what to do anymore

its like the... (6th or 7th time?) i been told not with words, but with actions, how the only person i truly love dosen't feel it back, and i think i just want to... drift away? from here, and idk what to do, i made this post to dump shit i rlly dont want to talk with someone personally, more like "something that everyone can see, even if they dont know me" and im not asking for cheerfull words, or a solution, i just want to throw this whole shitload of things i want to say in a pile of text, i fucking hate how im feeling rn