The Man, His family and the Women

I was a young father I’d must admit, I was a dumb young teen in love she was so full of joy, so energetic the complete opposite of me. We completed each other. April 28 of 2011 is when my whole life had another meaning, her name was Jules I couldn’t see a life without her anymore I sacrificed everything for her even after Maria left to complete her dreams she couldn’t see with us she went off never seen again a pain would began in my chest as my Jules grew she looked just like Maria I couldn't bare it. I did everything to ignore it Id neglected her just seeing her face, her personality was just so much alike they didn't even spend a day together.
I regret what I’v done till this day I believe I could of done something, could of been a better father, a better guide anything someone to talk to but due to my own selfishness I lost my only think I had in this world most precious to me in this world, the only piece I had of my first true love.
I still remember that day how dare I forget the day I saw her poor lifeless body covered in scars her numb hands so wounded of what she’d done. Her shoelace bringing her so high, it was her favorite color as I could remember a bright blue, beneath her a note saying her farewells to me, her last words she needed to tell me. I was such a coward I hate the man I was that day I just sat there in shock as the police operator tried to find out where I was. What did I have to live for? I needed a new meaning I needed Jules. After that day I began to drink I couldn’t go home with that same room, work wouldn’t allow me to stay so I only went where I could. At the bar I stayed to myself unbothered numb the amount of times I thought “This is the end, I’ll finally die today I want to be with my child” but it didn’t happen I couldn’t just like that day I was a still a weak coward I couldn’t do anything for myself so I drank, couldn’t stop I’d numb myself and zone out till they kicked me out.
Today, a month after my Jules death, I saw this woman. Seeing her just made me so memorized she was almost like my Jules she was way older, she had this smile that anyone could trust, anyone could copy but it was hers no one could smile the way she naturally did. I had to talk to her something told me too, I would sit closely next to her at the bar making note of how she spoke, act personality anything she exposed I remembered. I finally had the confidence to speak to her that day I’ll never forget. 

She spoke in such a soft voice only an angel could speak in her warmth felt like no others I almost got caught off guard with her. I couldn’t let anything slide past me not even Maria could that's what made me decide she had to be next. I know I only planned on 2, I mean I barely got anyway with Jules mother she was too loud it was draining but so worth it. Whenever I told her my plans for our kid she couldn’t understand. “This isn’t who I married, wheres my Frank Water?”. I thought Maria knew, I thought she was the same, I believed that she could understand. But she was just like the rest she couldn't see the possibilities we could of had. God why did I marry such a dumb women whats worse is that her face hunts me even whenever I sliced it off still dream of that night. I couldn’t dream of doing that to Jules so I’m thankful she couldn’t speak I cut her vocal cords right out. How couldn’t I? Just like her mother she didn't understand.
No I couldn’t say I regret what I’v done they could of tried to understand this world is sick that's why I’m sicker they’ve always told me, I couldn’t trust Maria and Jules that's why I did it. The voices who ever they are have always been right that's why I had to talk to  Christiana she knew I could tell by her eyes those same haunting warm eyes like no one else's pierced my body. I knew those eyes, seen them in pain, seen them full of life and without I knew she could tell something about Christainta was so trusting, thats what was scary about this woman. Around her I had this haunting feeling that she knew and with that came guilt I had to get rid of her next, we had to be close it just took a few drinks and a few pills to make her follow me. And the voices where right like always my guilt, worries and past washed over me once Christainta was gone, with Julie, Maria yet they were never satisfied.
Only thinking about it made my body feel such rush whenever I heard the spirit speak of my future only thing I had to sacrifice was my death, I now held he power of immortality with the curse of being surrounded of death every few years, it would even happen twice if they weren't happy. I would love to give inspiration credit to a good friend who gave me the writing prompt that fully inspired me to write this "Prompt for something to write: A man who lost his daughter now his only way to grief with his sadness is drinking and through this he meets a woman but write me a plot twist I won’t except" -My friend