Realizations? May 9/24

-i might have sexual trauma idk from what maybe my foster sibling 

-my sister is my daughter I cannot abandon her in this world after everything I've done so she does not have to suffer the same I can't ever let her know what a terrible person I am I'm going to kill myself if I lose her

-im so down bad I can't even bring myself to entertain other people even tough I want to so bad

-i smoke so much my toothbrush smells like my drugs

-i got chubbier and worse mentally 

-i don't like who I am 

- I don't want to have to deal with school i just want to KMS 

-i wanna be a sahm husband I would like to do homestead

- I have so many things that I thought would make me cool but I just feel it's pathetic

-making my pen hot makes it work easier 

-i wanna learn to dance the Caucasian in me is winning