5-2-24

i don’t know why the idea not even idea, just reality of exes is so prominent, i have been seeing my ex at school almost every day, then another ex started talking to one of my kinda friends. relationships have been prominent honesty. they rarely are. i feel almost 0 desire for a relationship. i haven’t for awhile, i have slightly recently but idk. i have disconnected myself from it so much that it is so taboo to me now. honestly only reason im writing this entry is because im nervous, i just passed by my ex and it was rlly awkward, and now i feel re during not so far from eachother. i forgot my journal so im bitterly writing on a study guide with a highlighter. this entry sucks so bad omg. i forgot my book too so im extra bored. i’m running out of room but i want to explain the continuously failing plan {i had a girl in my class last semester that really piqued my interest. her style and how she represented herself interested me. i never talked to her and was a little disappointed in myself but was never hung up on it. i started seeing her at school. i had planned to bake something and approach her and act nonchalant and be like “wait ur ******** from gen psych last semester right? blah blah blah oh i made this last night it’s for a friend but i want u to try it” but every day i go to class i either don’t see her or the baked good fails. i’ve baked so much pumpkin bread it’s nauseating now. maybe it’s a higher power telling me to not go through with it. but i have 1 friend telling me not to give up and the other validating my theory about the higher power.}