poetry: Daydream

today i realized i had never been in love before

as i felt the butterflies flutter in my stomach

the way his hand glides across my back, sending shocks of electricity through my body in ways i had never felt before

it made me feel sick, almost. like there was a little bit too much love.

is that even possible?

this encounter had me looking back at every relationship i’ve had in the past

every ‘i love you’ to leave my mouth

every pink nike jacket i’ve gifted for christmas

for the amount of soft rosy lips that i’ve placed my own onto

it made me realize that i had never been in love before. i had never TRULY felt those butterflies, or had that electricity run through my veins like i need it to sustain me

wrap me up in its arms, holding me so tight that i’m afraid i might just lose my grip with reality

the one detail i forgot to mention, the one detail that complicates the matter

it all happened in a daydream. a world of my own creation, a set of my own design.

don’t get it twisted, you see, these character may not exist in their reality, but they are very real

the love i feel through them is very real

the warmth of his hand is very real

the sound of the blades against the ice is very real

the pain and suffering they’ve taken on… is very real.

it may not have a real world effect, of course.

they live in my head. they are just a figment of my imagination that i go to so that i can escape the dystopian reality i’ve been faced with. despite this i don’t see how people could say they arent real

because, today, i fell in love for the very first time, and it was all because of a daydream.