hi guys, kinda bad news

hi people. what i am going to tell you it’s really down and personal so if you’re already having a bad day, i recommend you not to read this (sending hugs >*<).

i’ll probably attend i psychiatrist. well, my relatives from both sides have always struggled w/ mental health matters. my parents are probably the most normal people from their own family trees, i’d say. but for some reason, i’ve always had a deep feeling there’s something wrong with me. it feels like i’m always doing something wrong, or that a tragedy is coming to me. i’ve observed also that even when things are calm, i always pick the worst choices ever and end it all (note: i tend to see that things WERE calm rather then ARE calm. i only realize when it’s too late..). i have a hard time keeping a balanced mind. i don’t how to explain but i’m too happy or too sad. too laid back or too stressed out. too excited or too apathetic. i have no idea what do to control this.

i’m at school rn. i gotta go but i’ll finish this text as soon as i