5/6/2024 3:19am

No idea why I'm still awake rn. Its been this way for weeks now and it doesn't seem like it'll correct itself anytime soon. the correction needed being a non-existent sleep schedule that I cant seem to combat no matter how much I try to find a solution. 

The download I'm getting is that I need to start taking that trazadone at the proper time cause over consumption of alcohol is losing its effect and I cant even fall asleep on it anymore. Whereas once upon a time, all I did was puke and pass out, as my motto. 

Anyways these days I find myself thinking about Chris and if I am the one in the wrong. I feel like there were a lot of things wrong going on between us but why did it have to go to the extremes? 

What was the point of hating me on my birthday all cause I was posting some made up bs on my fansly. All I did was allude to having an ex obsess over me and it wasn't even true and you had all sorts of shit to say about me being a "bum" and a freeloader and how Im ungrateful and its crazy that I have SHOWN with my actions for years that I would never be so evil to someone I love but he has no issue being that was towards me. Its almost effortless the things he did. Every day you looked me in my eyes and said, "I Love you" was a massive lie that you couldn't even keep it up in the end. 

I gave up all of my life since I was 15 to pursue someone who showed me how much they not only hated me but saw my life worth taking at the end of the day. I have been through way more harmful situations knowing him then not and its insane how apparently my lifestyle is dangerous? 

I made one mistake with a millionaire cokehead and somehow me being young and 19  gets undermined like I wasn't a fucking child trying to survive in Baltimore city. 

Just such sick shit that I had to endure at the hands of DJSnowflake....


Why did I allow you to take everything from me? From my college sponsorships to me getting my passport... I allowed a jailbird to harm me and my legacy all in the name of love... What a joke I am in 2024. I would give anything for a do over. To delete every memory I have with such a evil colonizer. Hope the clout I GAVE YOU was worth it you culture vulture whore. 

I cant wait to all your ex's get to have a therapeutic session over the abuse you have caused us. You deserve to go down into hell along with DJ Vlad and Drake. 

you evil evil blue eyed demon. 

I really hope you're proud of yourself. 12 years of my life gone and ruined by a Sadistic Aquarius with mommy issues. 

How I wish we never met