being aromantic allosexual

i discovered i was aro two years ago, when jaiden animations uploaded her video coming out as aroace Video here!

it fucking blew my mind, 70% of the video is her explaining what being aro means, and like, i -knew- what it was, but hearing her experience was crazy, i related so much to everything she said

then i saw a tik tok with a mitski song -Pink in the Night-. idk why the lyrics "and i know ive kissed you before but i didn't do it right, can i try again" hit close to home. its stupid, the song is a very "romantic one" but i extrapolated the feeling to one of kissing someone "wrong" because the meaning of it are strictly "romantical"

i love being aro, what i don't love so much, is being aroallo

still craving a sexual relationship, but not a romantic one, i feel like its fucking hard to explain, i don't wanna come of as, idk, promiscuous?

also! im fucking SHY 

i hate dating apps, i hate talking to new people on instagram, im bad at socializing irl, when i go to bars and parties i don't seem approachable. (and im not very pretty)

i could only see myself being intimate with a friend, like a queerplatonic relationship, or a fuck buddy but i fucking hate that term

also, dont even make me start on the ZERO (0) aroallo representation, fr cant think of a single one.

i love all the aro and aroace representation in media, i just wish there were more of aroallo and alloace rep

any aroallos out there? i sometimes feel like im the only one. then i remember that one of my close friends is also aroallo and I feel very happy to have met so many interesting people at uni

sorry if this is nonsense, goodbye!!