‘’Of course doctor, you have never been a 13yo girl’’

Im so fucking tired of all of this shit and i wish i could die, im alone asf rn, there is no one to comfort me and 1824012 shit more that i wouldnt like to explain, dense and pathetic shit as all my life has been, BUT, i had someone that loved me, and drugged me, and took me to his home and gave me alcohol and we could watch gore together, and i mean, we were kinda weird to eachother and the we both got an autism diagnosis and stuff, but then we went to different cities and we stopped talking yk, we werent very healthy and kinda hated eachother, but we didnt have more friends lol xd. Weird shit happened that year, 14yo is quite literrally 13yo’s rebuilt.

 I used to bully this weird and ugly girl, she was bullimic furry and had no friends(ME) she reminded me ALOT of myself, so i hated her so much i made her cry and treated her like shit all the time, she hated me, but she needed me bc i gave her attention and i used to walk her home. I loved the fact that she couldnt hate me despite all, it made me feel like a god, im pretty docile nowadays, but remembering the power that i had, that i could make her feel like shit and that she will be always be there no matter what bc she didnt even have and option, makes me feel so light and happy...but now I AM THE DOG.

These days ive wondering is she have killed herself already or if she is as miserable as always, i dont really care but id like to know, i hope she is not dead, that is like, the worst i could wish her.