thinking through my life

everything is really weird. i think i want to be an author, or something. not long term. not professionally. not even more than once. but i think it's better to be a jack of all trades. You know the full saying, right? A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one. 

I love my music "career". i love how you can tell how i learned to not yell. not project so much. I love how you can tell i slowly learned that i need to rely on other producers to utilize my own talents of singing. It's not a LOT of talent, but it's there. 

I really like art. I've always wanted to do something serious about it, but i've always stuck to commissions. I've done some work for a band and a business before, but it's never really satisfied me the way bringing my daydreams to real life has. that's why i learned to draw in the first place. to create something out of nothing.

i do theatre, too. I create worlds that didnt used to exist in a place that used to be a bare husk of a stage left brimming for our ideas. I create characters that used to be limited to words on a page that were left to be interpreted however the actor pleased. I always interpreted it differently from others, i think, because i always tried to view it in a positive light, while theatre is about bringing ot live the negatives.

i really, REALLY, like writing. I like being able to get my daydreams out of my head. I like being able to create worlds out of thin out with nothing but a keyboard and my brain. I love the way the words dance so eloquently and flow so easily, like i'm uncovering words i'd forgot existed until i'd used them just now.