Have you ever had that one absolute wave of rage in your body?

My friends are SERIOUSLY pissing me off, they never take me seriously, always make fun of my chosen name and always see me as a punch line for their jokes. Its to a point where if im genuinely upset they won't take my feelings seriously at all and just joke about it in front of my face, they wouldn't care at all. I feel so forced to laugh and smile with them, just so that nobody throws a hissy fit whenever i try to defend myself, im sick of them and im sick of being the cork board to throw their poorly made unoriginal jokes at. I want to be able to cry and yell comfortably knowing that the people around me care if im not okay, but i could never have that, im stuck as the friend whose only there for comedic purposes, none of them would be bothered if i just stopped sitting with them. 

On top of everything else i have to deal with, they're definitely the thing thats gonna drive me to the rope again. I cant do this anymore.