Random thoughts on a raining Wednesday, the dog sleeping by my side

I'm unemployed, which sucks. My therapist said that it's important to have a routine outside of a job. I wish I could. 

Right now time keeps passing, the clock keeps ticktytacking and it seems I am not alive. I might become catholic because this system we live by sure sounds like a divine punishment. I t's hard to see so many people struggling. It's hard to have a routine when these disastrous things keep happening around.

I open LinkeIn and this sense of dread rises in my chest. There are two types of folks in Linkedin, unemployed fuckers or corporate bitches. It's depressing as fuck my mate. I feel it does not matter how much I try, everything is out of my reach.

I've got the depression diagnostic, so I know I should not rely on my feelings so much. Do shit even if I do not feel the point of doing it. 

Suuureeee. Let's go my dudes.

Right now I have no one to talk to. My unemployed friends are depressed enough without me whining in their ears. And my employed friends are too functional.

So I'll blog, it made things easier, talking here. Might do it a little bit more often. Right now I don't know if I try to drink a warm glass of milk or smoke a cigarette. Unemployment made me a smoker since it's the only drug I can afford. 

We all need a little bit of escapism. This is not the first time, and it's not going to be the last, that I'm unemployed and in a tight situation. But it is better to be alone, than lonely. Last time I was with my ex partner. Gosh that was fucked up. And so lonely. I was not smoking tho. Kudos for that.