entry 1 - why?

I lie awake at night from time to time, wondering. Why? Why is the world the way that it is. Divine conception? Or perhaps deliberate intervention? Most people rely on religion or a sort of spirituality to answer said questions. I don't know what to believe, the ideas of it all.  

Religion is the explanation of that is unexplainable at the time of its conception. Thousands of years of fear, given a reason of why such things happen. Fear is the mother if many things. Riots, military, laws, elections, violence, and so much more. The fear of not knowing. Not knowing things turns to fear. Fear that lay eggs of worry in your ear, until they hatch, and slowly but surely eating away at your mind. Brain signals become unlike themselves, in turn changing the host of its-self. A shell of its past walks the earth. 

Why are humans the destroyer of themselves, both individually and socially.