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LWK a rant which IK is a bad first impression but i need to vent a lil
No one tells you that the hardest part about being in a band is when you have to draw the lines between friendship and your passions. Someone didn't take it seriously & wasn't committed but we were assholes for saying that we actually wanted to go somewhere with the music.
From the start we (I, the bassist, and the Singer/Rhythm guitar) made it clear we wanted a real band. To make real music and work towards an album and playing shows. We never once said that it was just a fun side hobby. The band was named with pride because we wanted to see it on a shirt. We started writing music as soon as we could. We thought we had found a lead guitarist in a friend, they needed some work on their guitar but that was fine, we (singer really(he's a great guitarist just can't play the hard stuff while singing)) we're happy to teach them harder things and work on lyrics and concepts while they caught up.
We expressed genuine passion for music, for what we were trying to make. We thought they understood it and was on board to make it with us. But they started to flake, to not take practice seriously. They were always too busy to practice, there was always something. We understood that people can get busy but they were always busy last minute, never bothering to ask us if it was okay while literally making plans in front of us for the day we usually have practice.
They started dating someone, and then we never saw them. They didn't even cancel a day in advance, it would be mere hours before practice when they would say "I can't go today" no explanation, no sorry, no rescheduling. We had a calendar all together but they wouldn't even check it before asking to move to another day for a couple weeks, a day where the other two of us were fully scheduled on for the next couple weeks.
And now today, they trust someone else over us to know what WE said. All we said was that they MIGHT be with their s/o when asked where they were. SOMEHOW this is judgmental because we should know their s/o isn't available at that time. SOMEHOW the word of someone they met this year being pushed against their friend of many years should be taken as gospel and not remotely questioned at all.
When all we did was try to say that we didn't say anything rude or at least weren't trying to we get hit with a "no but --- said it was judgmental" (for the uninformed, I AM AUTISTIC) (ALSO it was like 8 am(I am not a morning person)) so maybe the person in question was just IDK misunderstanding me? and when I have the audacity to suggest that it was a misunderstanding i am only met with more skepticism.
TLDR It's great to do things with your friends but don't start a band with just anyone.
.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆..⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆..⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆..⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆..⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.
-- might update might not depends where it goes --
-+-Val-+-
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Statiscit 🍉
U see the thing is, what they don’t tell you about starting a band with friends is that there will always be conflict at some point but u guys are just starting so imagine how it’ll be if u guys actually make it big. And this isn’t me saying it can’t be fun but sometimes when ur in a band with friends sometimes u start to see each other more as co-workers rather than pals and that’s when things start to get rough. A lot of the best bands broke up due to arguments between band mates (I’m sure u have a few in mind) but ofc it’s best to avoid that. I suggest u really talk it through with this person and that if they wouldn’t cooperate then u might as well kick them out although idk how that would affect the state of the original friendship
def appreciate you taking the time to type out all that because it really reaffirms what i needed to hear/was thinking. I know a big part of being in a band is taking time out and being serious about things just as much as it is having fun with the music. I just wasn't sure if i was just in feeling like they were wrong for not taking things seriously when we made it clear we were trying to be in a serious band. I'm glad to hear at least 1 other person agrees. TBH they might be getting kicked out but im not so worried about the friendship because theyre doing some stuff that kinda questions if i wannna be their friend. Going from maybe gonna update to def gonna update. things keep getting weirder with them
thanks for ur perspective
✩Val ✩
by RadsValentine; ; Report
It’s all good. I think to put it into a simpler perspective I’d imagine being in a band is like working on a group project and ur friend here is the one person not putting any effort in but ofc u all have to in order to get a good grade or in this case to take matters seriously. I hope things all work out with ur band soon
by Statiscit 🍉; ; Report