04/30/24

     . Today was tiring, of course everyday is but today felt more tiring then usual. i woke up and bathed, did my usual routine, and today i wore shorts although i had leggings under them. i went to school and got there a bit late. i was very anxious going into class. i didnt really get picked on today and after school i played with my friends a bit. a bunch of kids begged my sister for candy and started to crowd her, then my friend got the attention off of my sister and onto her. when i was walking home my sister just would stop talking about it and its already been an half an hour. i sighed and as i was about to say something, she cut me off and said i was "doing too much" she then got mad because i was walking behind her and after a bit of arguing she said "know what, you should really fucking kill yourself. nobody cares about you. you never did this shit so why are you trying to be a decent sister now?" i didnt look at her. she continued "i hope you really do run away..i hope you keep following me and then get hit by a fucking car" as i walked passed her i said "i dont know why the fuck im trying to act like i care about you, i dont"

i wanted to cry but i didnt. i just walked home. i didnt mean any of it but she made sure i knew she did mean everything