thoughts from a meaningful conversation with a new friend.

Last night a friend and I stayed up late talking about how much of our lives is not really ours, how much we dedicate ourselves to slaving away for work and society just to die at the end, even at the end when we’re retired our life still isn’t ours. You can’t do what you want until you’re ready to die, they don’t even think about giving you any kind of peace until you’re diagnosed with a terminal illness or you know that you’re in your way to skinny dip into the rivers of death, and even then you still don’t get your peace. Even dying is expensive, you pass the burden on like its suicide even if you’re passing on peacefully in your sleep. I’m so tired of it being this way but I’m just one person and I can’t really change that on my own, people are much too selfish for anything to change, maybe in another decade we can change it. But I don’t know if I’ll get to see it. I hope that I do but I don’t think most of us will make it to 30 with the way our world is going, we’ve bred such a deep rooted hatred for each other as humans that it makes me reject my own humanity. If I could run off into the woods and stay there forever I would, the selfishness of people around me makes me so afraid to try and connect to other people but finding people with a similar mindset to me has begun to set me at ease, but I can never fully rest when surrounded by cruelty and the injustices of my reality, one day I’ll escape it and one day I’ll settle somewhere nice and quiet where no one is mean and no one is cruel, and I can give my love to all those who deserve it and don’t take it just to take and beat.