okay before yall chris defenders start yapping (/lh)

this is a JOKE (...kinda)

if you like chris, good for you

personally i DESPISE him <3

ALSO I MADE A THING

SO YEAH IF YOU WANT THAT THE LINK IS IN THE COMMENTS

IM IN MY CHRISTOPHER THORNDYKE DETESTATION ERA AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO

okay so since i made bulletins about this and i do NOT feel like typing all that out im just gonna share the screenshots (and maybe add onto them)

April 29th

ADDING ONTO THIS -- 

CHRIS'S MOM THREW THE PARTY FOR HIM

CHRIS GETS TO CALL HIS MOM WHENEVER HE WANTS

CREAM DOES NOT

CREAM WAS UNWILLINGLY SEPARATED FROM HER MOTHER AT 6 FUCKING YEARS OLD

BUT YOU DONT SEE HER WHINING ABOUT IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME

AND AT THE END SHE STILL MADE A FLOWERCROWN FOR HIM

HE DID NOT DESERVE IT

April 30th

ALSO ALSO ALSO

BEFORE HE TOLD ELLA ABOUT SONIC AND HIS FRIENDS

SHE SAW CREAM TALK AND THEN SAW AMY AND TAILS RUNNING AFTER HER

BUT BC NOBODY TOLD HER

HE PRETTY MUCH GASLIT HER INTO THINKING SHE WAS GOING INSANE

LIKE

"ella what are you talking about?? theyre just my stuffed animals they cant talk??"

AND ITS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??

AND IT WAS ONLY AT THE END OF THE EPISODE THAT THEY LET HER IN ON IT

YOU COULDVE TOLD HER BEFORE THAT WOULDVE MADE EVERYTHING SO MUCH EASIER

LIKE I FEEL SO BAD

SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING INSANE DUDE

WHO DOES THAT TO A PERSON

ALSO WHEN TAILS WAS WORKING ON THE TORNADO

WHY DID CHRIS ASK FOR AN EXTRA SEAT??

BECAUSE HES FUCKING CLINGY

"HEY SONIC CAN I GO WITH YOU TO THE FUCKING SKY WHERE I MIGHT DIE BC THE AIRS HELLA THIN UP THERE??

AND ALSO WHERE IM 100% GONNA GET IN THE WAY BC IM A STUPID ASS KID??

BUT ITS OKAY BC I DECIDED TO MEDDLE IN YOUR LIFE AND TAILS JUST HAPPENED TO GO W IT??"

FUCK OFFFFF

AND THEN ON THE EPISODE WHEN THEY ALL ACTUALLY WENT OUT IN PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME RIGHT

AND CHRIS GAVE SONIC A PHONE

"we can talk whenever now!! bc im a clingy as bitch and hate it when youre not w me at every second of the day!! im like amy but a human boy and so much more annoying about how much i like you <3"

ITS LIKE HE LEARNED NOTHING ABOUT SONIC THE WHOLE TIME HES KNOWN HIM??

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE WANT A PHONE SO YOU CAN BOTHER HIM WHILE HES OUT ON A RUN

LEAVE HIM ALONE

THERES NOTHING WRONG W BEING CLINGY, I MYSELF AM VERY CLINGY

BUT ATP CHRIS IS FUCKING SUFFOCATING

THERES ALSO THE FACT THAT AT THE END OF SEASON 1

KNUCKLES IS LIKE "HEY IM GONNA GO NEGOTIATE W EGGMAN SO WE CAN GO HOME"

AND SUDDENLY CHRIS IS LIKE "knuckles is right...i AM being selfish..."

BC HE DIDNT WANT THEM TO GO HOME

AND ITS LIKE

KNUCKLES DIDNT EVEN MENTION THAT??

DONT MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU

AND INSTEAD OF TALKING KNUCKLES OUT OF GIVING EGGMAN HIS CHAOS EMERALD

HE JUST GOES W IT AND IS LIKE

"YEAH THATS A GOOD DECISION"

NO ITS FUCKING NOT

EGGMANS FUCKED W KNUCKLES BEFORE WHY WOULDNT HE DO IT NOW

IDIOT

AND THEN WHEN SONIC GOES SUPER SONIC AT THE END TO SAVE THEIR ASSES

CHRIS IS LIKE

"NO SONIC DONT GO HOME"

HE FUCKING CANT HE USED THE CHAOS EMERALDS TO GO SUPER SONIC

SO HES STUCK THERE FOR EVEN LONGER

AND ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT

NOW YALL HAVE TO GO FIND THEM ALL AGAIN BC THEY SCATTERED AGAIN

May 1st

MY BSF TOLD ME ABOUT THIS ONE SO SHOUT OUT TO HIM

TY FOR THIS MY GOOD MAN 🙏🏼

ALSO OBV THATS NOT THEIR ACTUAL DISC USER THATS MY NICKNAME FOR THEM SO DONT TRY TO SPAM THEM TY 💀

May 12th

THERE WAS ALSO THAT CRUISE EPISODE?? WHERE HE WAS NARRATING IT FOR SOME REASON??

WHY WAS THAT NECESSARY

I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR HIS STUPID "im so emo guys i listen to lil peep and bawl my eyes out i nobody understands me 🥺" BITCHASS VOICE LONGER THAN I HAVE TO

nothing wrong w listening to lil peep btw hes just...not actually emo? ik its called "emo rap" but its not emo im sorry

ANYWAYS HE WAS BEING A FUCKING PICK-ME ASS BITCH TRYNA BE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN HIS NARRATION ERA

IK TECHNICALLY HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER BUT HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE SHUT UP

AND THEN SEASON 2

W THE CHAOS GUY I FORGOT ITS NAME

AND KNUCKLES WENT TO HIS PLACE TO LIKE GET HELP OR WHATEVER AND HE WAS EXPLAINING THE WHOLE ANGEL ISLAND MASTER EMERALD SITUATION

AND CHRIS GOES

"if you gotta protect the master emerald on angel island, why arent you there??"

WHY DO YOU THINK, STUPID??

YOU SAW THAT BLUE THING (aforementioned "chaos guy" if you havent seen sonic x/played sonic adventure)

HES OBV AN ASSHOLE YOU THINK HES JUST GONNA GET OUT OF KNUCKLES WAY??

BESIDES ANGEL ISLAND WASNT THERE THE WHOLE TIME IT JUST CAME TO YOUR WORLD

BC OF THE FACT THAT YOU MADE SONIC USE THE DAMN CHAOS EMERALDS IN THE SEASON 1 FINALE

SO KNUCKLES COULDNT EVEN TRY TO PROTECT IT UNTIL NOW

June 17th

ALSO WHEN THEY WERE LOOKING FOR A POWER SOURCE FOR THEIR SPACE CRAFT THING

HE JUST?? TOOK THE MASTER EMERALD?? MF YOU CANT JUST DO THAT

CONSIDERING HOW OBSESSED YOU ARE W SONIC AND HIS FRIENDS, YOU SHOULD KNOW KNUCKLES IS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT IT??

LIKE WHY WOULD JUST

YOINK IT

WITHOUT PERMISSION??

youre lucky amy "persuaded" him into letting you use it afterwards bc what the fuck man

HES ALSO STILL FUCKING USELESS

"i know karate!!!"

AND THEN HE TRIES TO KICK SMTH

AND HE CANT FUCKING DO IT BC HES 12 YEARS OLD AGAIN

AND HIS LEGS AINT LONG ENOUGH

AND HES GOT THE STRENGTH (OR LACK THEREOF) OF A CHILD

AND THEN BC OF HIM SONIC GETS FUCKING CAPTURED

AND SO TAILS AND AMY ARE LIKE "okay well go save him,, chris you can go rest and shower you stinky little piece of shit"

and so he does

AND IN BED HES JUST

"aw geez, i-i-i-i-im so useless...🥺😖they all have super cool powers they dont need me..."

YOURE RIGHT

THEY DONT NEED YOU

AND THEN HE GOES ON THIS STUPID MONOLOGUE LIKE

"i have a pilots license and i go to college and i gained self confidence when tanaka gave me karate lessons....ugh i should go back home"

DO IT THEN

FUCKING GO HOME

PLEASE

NOBODY WANTS YOU ON MOBIUS BRO, FUCK OFFFF

YOU WERE NOT INVITED TO VISIT, YOU JUST FUCKING CAME IN AND INVADED

GO BACK TO STATION SQUARE

July 19th

okay going back to the end of season 2 bc i recently rewatched sonic x

THE LITERAL PRESIDENTS AIDE WAS LIKE

"hey if sonic and the rest of them stay here then his world and our world will collide and time will stop"

AND CHRIS OVERHEARS AND IS LIKE

"no. idgaf what the ACTUAL PRESIDENT says, im NOT letting you send him away HES MY BEST FRIEND WHO IM OBSESSED W TO AN UNHEALTHY EXTENT 🤬😡 IF YOU SEND HIM AWAY YOULL BE SORRY!!"

AND THEN GOES TO TALK TO EGGMAN LIKE AN IDIOT??? BC HE THINKS EGGMAN IS BEHIND IT??

FUCKER DONT YOU REALIZE EGGMAN BEING THERE ALSO WILL CAUSE TIME TO STOP,,,HE HAS TO GO TOO ITS NOT A PLOY TO SEND JUST SONIC, THEYD ALL HAVE TO GO???

"ill make you tell everyone the truth!!!"

EVEN IF IT WAS EGGMAN, YOURE FUCKING USELESS HES LITERALLY KIDNAPPED YOU BEFORE??

AND THEN WHEN EGGMAN WAS LIKE "no but fr thats not me its just gen whats gonna happen"

HE FUCKING HAS A LITTLE TANTRUM AND RUNS OFF CRYING??

GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITTLE PISSBABY

HES ALSO SUCH A FUCKING VICTIMIZER??

WHEN HE LITERALLY FUCKING KIDNAPPED SONIC AND ASKED "hey you havent said anything about me taking you fucking hostage"

AND SONIC WAS LIKE "well its up to you"

HE TOOK THAT AS

"OH SO WERE ONLY FRIENDS BC I SAVED YOU FROM DROWNING IN MY POOL?? YOU FELT LIKE YOU OWED ME BC OF THAT??"

HE DIDNT SAY THAT AT ALL ASSHOLE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET HIM GO HOME

HE DOESNT EVEN CARE HE JUST WANTS A PLACE TO RUN AROUND HELL BE HAPPY AND HES GIVING YOU THE OPTION??

AND THEN YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN HE LITERALLY SAYS ITS FINE??

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND DAWG

"im so selfish im a terrible friend 🥺😭 i was all alone before i met you"

EXCEPT YOU WERENT BC LITERALLY EVERYONE LIKES YOU

YOUR FRIENDS W EVERYBODY IN YOUR CLASS AND YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU SO FUCKING MUCH ITS PROB SUFFOCATING BUT YOURE UNGRATEFUL AND THINK THEY DONT??

FUCK OFF SPOILED ASS LITTLE SHIT

and then we got season 3

ADDING ON TO WHEN HE FUCKING WENT TO SONICS WORLD

AT THE END OF SEASON 2 HE SAID HE AND HELEN AND FRANCIS AND DANNY WOULD ALL GO TOGETHER

BC THAT WAS THE PLAN

AND THEN SEASON 3,,HE LEAVES BY HIMSELF??

YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU PROMISED YOUR FRIENDS YOUD ALL GO TOGETHER AND THEN YOU DIDNT??

LYING ASS BITCH

AND THEN FURTHER ON IN THE SEASON AFTER ALL THE COSMO LORE AND SHIT

YK WHEN THEY WERE NEARING IN ON A PLANET THAT LOOKED ALL FUCKED UP OR SMTH

AND THE METAREX GUY SENT THEM THE MESSAGE THING

AND COSMO TRANSLATED SOME OF IT

BUT KEPT THE REST TO HERSELF BC THEY WERE ASKING HER TO GO THERE

SO SHE TRIED TO GO ON HER OWN

AND CHRIS FUCKING BUTT INTO HER BUSINESS AND WENT WITH HER??

LIKE SHE WANTED TO GO ON HER OWN

LIKE I GET THAT SHE NEEDED HIM TO LET HER GO SO SHE COULD LEAVE UNDETECTED

BUT STILL HE DIDNT HAVE TO GO W HER

THAT WAS HER BUSINESS

AND YEAH IT WAS A TRAP BUT STILL YALL COULDVE SAVE HER ANYWAY

AND WHEN HE WENT AND COSMO STARTED CRYING BC SHE FELT BAD LIKE "IM SORRY I HAD TO COME"

AND HE LAUGHED AT HER??

"you remind me of me when i was young"

EXCEPT WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG YOUR FAMILY WASNT DEAD YOU WERENT TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR ANCESTORS

INSTEAD YOU WERE OBSESSED W SONIC TO AN UNHEALTHY DEGREE LIKE FUCK OFF

AND THEN HE ALMOST DIED BC HIS HELMET THING GOT CRACKED OR WHATEVER IDK

AND THEN AT THE END OF THE SEASON HES CHILLING W KNUCKLES

AND HES LIKE "yo how do i build a house"

WHY ARE YOU PLANNING ON LIVING THERE FUCK OFF

AND KNUCKLES BEING THE BEST CHARACTER THERE (besides vector and eggman and shadow) WAS LIKE

"you just fucking build one man"

"but where"

"wherever you want, first come first serve,,,ARE YOU PLANNING ON BUILDING A HOUSE ON MY TERF??"

"LMAO YEAH ITS MY TERF NOW BITCH"

LIKE HELLO?? THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER PLACES TO LIVE YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE KNUCKLES'S PLACE???

AND BEFORE HE EVEN GETS TO BUILD A HOUSE, THANK GOD, EGGMAN COMES AND IS LIKE

"yo i made a thing you can go home now"

THANK GOD CHRIS TOOK THE FUCKING OPPORTUNITY

BUT YOUD THINK HED SAY BYE RIGHT?? SINCE HES SO OBSESSED W SONIC AND HIS FRIENDS

BUT HE?? DOESNT??? HE JUST FUCKING LEAVES ON THE PLANE THING THAT EGGMAN GAVE HIM

AND SONIC FUCKING RUNS AFTER THE PLANE BC LIKE HIS FRIEND JUST FUCKING DITCHED WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING??

AND CHRIS LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND STARTED FUCKING CRYING??

HE DIDNT CRY WHEN HE LEFT HIS FRIENDS TO GO TO SONICS WORLD, WHY IS HE FUCKING CRYING NOW

HES SO FUCKING FAKE BRO OML

WILL ADD TO THIS ONCE I FIND MORE REASONS TO HATE CHRIS

IF YOU HAVE REASONS THAT I DIDNT COVER, FEEL FREE TO COMMENT/IM ME ABOUT IT AND ILL ADD IT + CREDIT YOU <3