when will it fucking end

sitting here watching the sunset (or sunrise, I don't know anymore). another long day that waits to get itself out of my system. I could be doing a thousand sit ups or finding a cure for cancer that doesn't involve being miserable but instead I'm sitting here and waiting for the day to finish so that I can do the exact same thing tomorrow. I'm tired of waiting for things to be done when I should just be living in them. but I mean its not like I have anyone to get out and live with, and the government is scared to give me my licence in case I try to crash into a tree. nothing I can do but wait, like a sick dog waiting for its owner to come home. maybe I'll stop eating for 2 weeks just to feel something. or maybe I'll ..........