Well, now I know (kinda follow-up to my last blog)

Turns out it was my mental instability that drove her away. She needs a break from me. She might talk to me again after Easter break, but she doesn't know. 

I don't want her to leave me too. I stuck with her when she was at her lowest, so why won't she reciprocate? I mean, I probably was a large contributor to her mental state, but I did try to help and supported her through it all. Now she's gotten better (at least on surface level) and I'm even worse. 

I wish I weren't myself sometimes. Maybe she'd still consider me her best friend and not just "one of her closest friends". We aren't even close now. We rarely speak to eachother when we used to talk literally every day, all day. If I weren't mentally unstable, would she love me? I can't help but ponder all the "what ifs". 

Every person I become close friends with befriends me at their lowest/weirdest point. Why? I don't help people with their mental health, I know that much for sure. I'm stressful to be very close with. So why? Am I the cause? I cannot tell.