old poems

I came back from a deep time with myself, a lot of things have happened to me latelly and I have so much things going on in my head, I just wish i could find some peace for myself, people are blaming me for a lot of things, I feel drained and exhausted, I dont have energy for getting out of bed, I dont feel happy when I talk to people...

 I happen to have one more poem abot this:

Will to Live

If i clean my room do you think I will find my will to live?

it's been lost in the piles of laundry I forgot to fold and hidden under empty cups,

and I think I remember seeing it on my desk somewhere but,

I couldnt seem to make a trip out of bed

Im going to check the next three tomorrows, and after that I'll check some memories of you from years ago

but I havn't found anything there since our last conversation

I once looked for it in my mother's arms and found that she was looking too

maybe I'll find it when I brush my teeth today

is it hidden in the water that flows down the drain?

but if not, I'll pray again, I'll try again, I'll cry to god one more time

I'll bargain if I must

what can I give?

Im empty handed and rotten inside and I have nothing to offer so forgive me if I beg

hold me tightly to your chest, Im looking for something to fill mine.