entry-8

april 25th, 2024

I need a breath of fresh air

something sudden and unexpected to make me feel like life is worth living, not even on any su1c1d4l stuff, I don't wanna km$ but like I feel hallow like there's nothing in me, I wish I could hibernate 

there are things I like and there are things I want to do, but I want to want things so bad that I strive for them and have passion for something so immensely that it makes the world brighter, I feel like i'm truly not interested in anything that I feel life has to offer 

don't get me wrong I have interests but I feel like anything that i've ever let consume me, wasn't really me, but a piece of someone else I tried to mirror.

I wanna know myself and i've been trying really hard and I can see progress but I really don't know who tf I am.

I wish for something to come in my life and sweep my whole world away for the better, whether it be a passion or a person; I need a muse for living.

maybe its not life itself I hurt from but the world that we've created that I now have to be apart of