The Source of SDH (Self-Deprecating Humor) vs Bullying

Last year I stumbled into a particular Discord server while I was trying to find an online fiddle/violin community.  I can't recall the name or quite how I found it (since I was entering/exiting several at the time), but what drove me out what a particular young lady and an interaction I've been pondering about for some reason today.

She simply, absolutely, vehemently, could not allow me to use ANY self-deprecating humor.  Look, I'm not talking kms humor, just like calling my violin "El Cheapo" and that "I suck."

"That's bullying, and we don't stand for any bullying, even of yourself."

Objectively, I'd been playing about 8-10 months at that time so, YEAH, I sucked.  Hell, I still do, I'm still VERY young in my violin/fiddle career (about a year and a half now).  "That's still bullying."

I agree that bullying should not be tolerated - where a power imbalance exists and is exploited by one purely for the suffering of the other - and I especially agree that the little dark voice in the back of your head is the most insidious poison known to mankind, sometimes manifesting in SDH, where you can kinda but not really make fun of yourself, but at the same time, SDH can come from a place of maturity.  In my case, I was not making the case that "I suck now so I'll suck like this forever," just "here's where I'm at now."  It takes a certain amount of self-awareness and self-confidence to be able to go, "what's the condition of my condition? I know where I want to go, where am I now so I can plot a path to that?"

I can't in good faith say, everyone's SDH and dark humor comes from this self-awareness and that there's nothing else behind the laughs - great comics like Christopher Titus and Robin Williams with their much darker demons immediately come to mind - so if you have a friend who's always like this, do check up on them from time to time, but, also, like in Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies sometimes people really do have it figured out, or at least figuring it out, and could just use a Pepsi.