Untitled/Blogpost #7

As usual, this is nonsense and just me talking to myself. get out if you dont wanna read that

Wow, im straight up not having a very good time right now. whats up with that. Not even rly feeling any emotions honestly but like.. wtf buddy. why is not feeling a bad feeling? nonsense. bollocks. other british sounding words.  im killing you btw. no im not why would I say that.

What in the persnickety shit is this. whatever im too lazy 2 move over to reddit, ill just keep it light. fuckin who even cares right? whatever.

I want to get some tattoos around my collar bone, just a bunch of cicadas. I feel like thatd look great. Theres some art that has what I'm thinking of, but its got nudity so I cant put that in here. boring right? like cmon, american ass sensibilities. whatever. Im american why did i say it like that

whatever

yeah, just simple black and white cicadas, around my collar bones and over my shoulders. thatd be sick. tattoos are so expensive though.. oh well. maybe one day. Also some nice dark red imperial roses as a back tattoo, maybe a stylized red spider lily. I also want a little cat somewhere.. maybe shoulder? would that be cute? who knows.

I think the reason im feeling all.... the way i am is because i felt too much the past couple days. maybe my brain ran out of chemicals to make me feel. Its happened before, and im not eating too well, so.. could be. stars am i hungry, always hungry. but making food takes work, which takes energy, which is something I dont have. what a damned cycle huh?

I broke a little.. statuette(?) the other day. its a nice old one, of a guy making a statue of his own. looks like a Buddha. his arm and hammer just snapped off, all because I dropped a box. I dont even have any superglue to fix it.

I don't really have a reason to have said that. Just felt bad seeing him i guess. one day ill fix it i guess, itll just take some time.

Its a shame all my favorite flowers symbolize death and mourning, just because I like deep reds. The spider lily is understandable, its poisonous after all. but deeply colored roses? they can either mean devotion, rebirth, or mourning. sometimes death, if they're dark enough. Something normally of love and passion made to change meaning just because the shades darker? nonsense. my third favorite is a white chrysanthemum, and it just feels deliberate at this point. I feel like ill get bad luck if I keep any of these around.

You could probably find some meaning in that, something about death and change and what it means abt me as a person, but im neither a poet nor care. so. fuck you? why did i even mention it??? whatever i never delete stuff im leaving it in.

im all out of thoughts for now, so.. peace out nerds. have a good day and shit