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god I'm so fucking lonely.
I have many friends but none of them see me as one of their closest friends, even though they're my closest friends. it sucks to care about someone way more than you know they will ever care about you.
I miss when I used to be best friends with this one girl,, we were so close for about a year and then over the summer she just sort of drifted away from being my friend. we used to walk to my house after school and then spend the rest of the afternoon/evening cuddling and watching horror movies. we did that almost every day for a year. i miss having a close friend who is okay with me being such a tactile person. with the people I'm friends with now it feels awkward to even just hug them in greeting.
I've made some new friends this year,, but it's less like being friends with them and more like being friendly acquaintances. I miss feeling closely connected to someone.
online friends are an semi adequate way to stave off feeling alone or disconnected,, but it's hard to find people online who are willing to maintain a frequent correspondence. spacehey is better to find people than other socal media, but it's still hard to sustain a connection for longer than a few days. I wish it was easier to make and keep relationships both in real life, and online.
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chickennuggie
your feelings aren't cliche or dumb. i understand what you've expressed because unfortunately i deal with the same thing. i have plenty of irl friends, all of which i love very much, but the only thing that really seems to bind us as friends is time, or the fact that we've known each other for years. they don't share some of my most valued interests, like drawing & making stories. maintaining relationships is very difficult for me as well—i've had so many falling outs with people just because i cannot figure out how to continue the friendship. but i am here if you need anything, i dont want you to continue feeling so lonely. you're an amazing, unique & loved person ^_^
ELIOT
I can feel what you’re saying, I used to have many friends but now I don’t , even the ones I know , feels like I don’t know them/forcing them to speak with me
Although if you wanted to chat I’m always available!
And mostly into instagram, who knows what we can be?