my problem with the dbh fandom [detroit: become human rant]

This is gonna read as more of a rant than a coherent blog post, just be advised on that, and a lot of this applies to most fandom culture in general but I'm a member of this fandom and I'm gonna talk about it in the context of this fandom.

Okay, so, I read a lot of ao3. I'm a reed900 shipper, and I like that as a rarepair. Which is fine. But a lot of the fics I see are tagged with abuse and violence. That would be fine, except in a lot of cases it's glorifying it and romanticizing it. AO3 is for everyone and it's kind of a general rule that 'anything goes' on there, but I don't think that so many people that are in the fandom should be romanticizing abuse. It goes hand in hand with the fetishization of gay relationships, and it genuinely disgusts me. Last week I read a fic where SA from Nines to Gavin was completely romanticized and considered 'okay'. That's insane and I don't understand how it got so fucking normalized. Abuse is never okay, and should not be treated like this cute thing that Nines is doing as a 'dom' because that is SO not right nor is it properly describing the way a relationship like that would work. Unhealthy relationships should not be romanticized. If you're going to treat your partner like that at all, and they're OKAY with it (which in all of these fics Gavin never talks about it with Nines), there should be a conversation about boundaries.

Another issue stemming off of the last one is that Gavin is ALWAYS written as if he's like.. Some softboy feminine doormat that is completely ok with getting beaten??? I don't know how to describe it. Like, did we play the same game? Are we talking about the same guy? I've analyzed him as a character far more than most and I can tell you now that "Gavin twirls his hair and giggles, looking down and blushing" (THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM A VERY POPULAR FIC I JUST CLICKED ON RIGHT BEFORE READING THIS) is not a scene that would play out. Once again, are we talking about the same character? His character in the game is not somebody that would do that, and I think it's awfully weird that we're acting as if he would. Because he absolutely would not, I'm telling you now. 

Additionally, I have a huge problem with hankcon. My problem isn't just that I don't like it, which I don't, but more lies in the fact that a large portion of the existing hankcon shippers will be like "aww their father and son relationship is so cute!" and then one post later post nsfw of the two characters. That's not okay, moreso than the ship itself. Not only are they canonically 'father and son', although not explicitly stated, but the sexualization of the age gap is what gets me too.

Biggest problem I have is the people themselves, to be honest. This bridges some stuff from the editing community, but I'm a dbh editor. I like making my silly little edits, I like talking about the game. When you talk to 90% of the editors in the fandom, they are aggressive, rude, jealous, and just flat out mean. I see a huge problem with this, seeing as we're all here for the same thing. You talk to almost anyone in the fandom, god FORBID you don't like the same characters as them because they will automatically hate you if you don't. There's so much elitism that I think we're all forgetting that we are all people, like human people, and that there's--once again--PEOPLE BEHIND YOUR FUCKING PHONE SCREEN. Why does there have to be so much discourse over who the 'best' main character is? They were all written to have a place in the story. You are not cool or different for telling me that Markus is a better character than Connor or Kara, you're just an asshole. Fandom culture is supposed to have a huge basis in being accepting. Fandoms have always had discourse, but jesus. One of my mutuals was doxxed because they like Kara better than the other two. We are all fans of the same game. Having a character that you like more than the others is normal because of your experiences and personality. It would be weird if everybody liked the same character, and it WOULD mean that the other ones aren't written well. But that's not what happened. They were all written as good characters, and telling someone that they're wrong for liking one more is the opposite of what the point of a fandom is.

that's all the yapping i have in me for one night goodnight <3