Remixing my second album

I'm remixing my unreleased second album at the moment, my first mix was done in a single day, so wasn't very good. Its hard going back to the songs, they are mostly about my ex-fiancé. I find myself feeling more and more depressed as I have to listen to how much I loved her. I really want it to be done soon, so I can move on. 

I'm also writing my third album, its mainly about the breakup and how much its impacted my mental health. Half of the songs on my first album were about my depression, so its nothing new. Dealing with themes of suicide and self harm is extremely hard to do, I never know how honest I should be about how much I want to die, as I don't want to influence other people to feel the same way. I try to be as honest as I can when writing music, its my outlet for how I feel, although I don't feel anything most of the time.

One day I hope that I can preform my songs live, I've been looking for open mic places in Cambridge and there are quite a few.

Do you ever think about how pointless everything we do is? I do, all the time, its all that's on my mind most of the time, I just lay in bed and think about how much I wish I just didn't exist. Everything we do just distracts us from the inevitable, but I think that's okay, we are all in the same boat. It kind of makes life important when you realise this is all we have, in a way, there not being a point gives it one. Very paradoxical I know xD.