healing my relationship with food

Hii welcome back to my blog where i bitch and whine about my life, talk about random stuff or just post stupid shit!

TW: So I’m gonna be talking about disord3r3d 3@t1ng for a lot of this blog so if any of that makes you uncomfortable or you’re trying to heal from something like that; please click off<3 make sure you eat something and drink water and stay cool as per usual:) ill see you in my next entry if this ones not for you<3

OKAY SO. I’m currently trying to heal my relationship with food. you may ask “well skullz why tf do you need to blog about it? you usually complain when you’re blogging anyways…?” and to that i say,… Y E S. Let me explain… healing your relationship wirh food in general is very difficult, especially when you’re so used to telling yourself “no.” and you’re so used to your certain patterns and shit AND ON TOP OF THAT, you are trying to heal your relationship with food in a HEALTHY WAY.

so lets kick off with a certain someone i am almost certain everybody knows a bit about to SOME extent… 

✨diet culture✨ :/

why do i fucking despise diet culture? well im glad you asked… BECAUSE IT FUCKING SUCKS THATS WHY!!! literally I go to the gym at once a week AT LEAST and everybody in my familys like “you need to drink protein shakes all day and blahvlahblah” and ive probably already mentioned the millenial women saying that one oftenly quoted thing oftenly spread around on a little friend i used to have called tumblr,, or more as i knew her “edblr.” the quote was something like “Workout/starve until you’re about to pass out, thne eat a cube of cheese.” which is SO FUCKING STUPID!!! as much as i ADORE the 2010s, ITS 2024 CUT THE CRAP ALREADY!!! i think if i didnt find edblr i would have been somewhat fine? like sure, before i found edblr or even downloaded tumblr i would still very frequently dabble in the eating disorder i gave myself but when tumblr hit it felt like i was in fhat one anorexia short film where ana is a girl that the main charachter makees friends with and then ana controls her life. anyways im spewing off track a bit, but it wouldnt be my blog if i didnt lolxd

diet culture is so stupid because i am not exactly dieting, i am having a well balanced meal plan (that doesnt consist of copious amounts of water and six croutons a day anymore) and going to the gym to workout snd keep a healthier more fit body. but still anorexia still finds a way to creep up onto my pinterest feed, youtube, instagram and all other stuff:( even just comment sections on videos promoting a healthy well balanced meal plan are so hard to read through because so many sick people will comment onto those posts. I want a healthy body and a healthy mindset aswell, and diet culture literally constantly tries to tear that away from me. it is so tiring healinng your relationship wirh food because i always end up having second thoughts; but thats just the world we live in i guess? no matter what people say i guess u just gotta keep tredging through the tar until you eventually get to a place you’re satisfied with being in. ill get there:)

influences in fhe media

i didnf know if it was actually true, but i was watching one of my comfort youtubers this morning (drama kween) and she said there’s hashtags VERY related to edblr hashtags surfacing tiktok at the moment. i am insanely glad i dont use tiktok, but fear for my friends, partner, and family to go down the same path as i had and instead of trying to get better; just dying because of it. so many people still to this day preach that “being skinny means you’re healthy.” which yes totally good job BUT you can be healthy any size that you are. it really is just a matter on if you’re taking care of yourself and listening to your body. I personally am very “out of shape” so whenever i start running and doing stuff in the gym i immidietly pant. that is a sign from my body telling me rhat i need to be more active, i follow the hunger signals my body sends me. if i want berries and yogurt i will have it, if i want a fucking chocolate bar ill have it. so many people also preach body positivity but then will turn around to a person with an ed who isnt deathly underweight and say “no ur healthy” whereas someone with an ed who is overweight is considered “unhealthy” BOTH ARE UNHEALTHY!!!! fuck guys? just stop pretending like a rice cake and a “pretty pill” will make you “🕯️as a 🪶” ITS FUCKING SICKENING.

anywho im gonna go eat dinner after i just ate a late lunch and a snack because why? my body needs the fuel, and if you’re gonna judge me for shit i eat unfollow and fuck right off.

ANYWHOOO TAHNK U FOR READING!!! make sure u eat enouggh, drink enough water, and take care of yourself:) also remember to stay cool!!! BYEEEEE :D