Yet more quotes

I've got nothing else to post and I need a good laugh.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"I'm on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some whould call a 'floor.' A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, as I may not return alive."

"It's always the last place you look. Of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking after I found it!?"

"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same."

"If you can't beat 'em join 'em. If you can't join 'em bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em you're screwed."

"Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?"

"I'm going to live forever or die trying!"

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away if well aimed. Sorry Pip."

"I'm not suffering from insanity. I'm enjoying every minute of it."

"We're not retreating...we're...advancing in another direction!"

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me."

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."

"On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. And another on the backspace key."