Report Blog Entry
You will need:
- One Isy (two half Isy's is fine)
- Half a cup of sugar
- One cup of salt
- Half a lemon
- Three cloves of garlic
- 7 onions (diced)
- A red onion, fuck it
- All three colours of bell pepper (preferably in a three pack) (thinly sliced)
- 10Kg of carrots (sliced)
- Paprika
- Coriander
- Tobasco sauce (one bottle)
- Parmesan (two blocks)
- A sainsbury's taste the difference bottle of red wine
- 60L of water
- 20L of lamb stock
- 1KG of mushrooms
- Chives
- woscerstershire sauce (1 bottle)
- 5kg of mashed potato
Serves 57
- Pour some olive oil in a large wok or queen sized frying pan and add the carrots, frying for 4 minutes at a high heat, before adding the onions, garlic, mushrooms, peppers, and chives.
- Fry for 4-6 minutues or until the onions are just beginning to brown, then pour over about half the stock and add the sainsbury's taste the difference bottle of red wine.
- Leave covered off the heat, and meanwhile bring the water to boil in a large, inhabitable cauldron. Add the meat and pour over the rest of the stock, one ladle at a time. Add the sugar and salt, as well as about a half cup of pepper, then boil for approximately 20 minutes or until the meat looks cooked, then add the woscerstershire & tobasco sauce.
- Add the reserved vegetables and stir fashionably, until the smells begin to waft around you and remind you of the childhood feasts you once consumed, leading your dark heart to beat in time with the mysterious rhythm of the drums that come upon you once every hundred days
- Fear the darkness as it takes form around you, lift your head as you are consumed by the very shadow that you were once the master of, forever bound to your feet finally undone filling you with a terror that peter pan never promised you
- Writhe in pain as the spectral wraith of the Isy you attempted to cook, [why, what came over you, what were you thinking, why won't she stop], is ripped out of her body and comes crashing into you like a fire beneath the skin you once trusted to keep your conscience lucid and individual
- There's no escape now, no way back from what you've done, your hands are stained up to the shoulders and there's no being in hell that can give you forgivness anymore
- Serve with mashed sweet potato, peas, and parmasan. Add lemon for an optional zesty thrill!
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )