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heyy internet :3 today i wanna talk about something that has been on my mind these past couple weeks and i felt like i need to share it w y'all. the whole concept of being perceived really is strange, the fact that versions of yourself exist in other people's minds. we can never truly understand how someone else will perceive us, we can only understand our self perception.
i've been struggling with my identity and appearance these days and it's really bugging me! i don't understand why i care so much about how i'm perceived by others. i guess it's just human nature to care about other people's opinions, but still! THIS SUCKS!! i get embarrassed almost when i leave the house and i look basic. it's almost like i'm ashamed to walk out and wear a hoodie and leggings instead of some unique, stare-worthy, head-turning outfit. it's so stupid!! and it's also an issue bc i want to attract people with the same interests as me but if i look basic and walk past a group of cool alt kids, I FREAK OUT BC THEY COULD BE NOTICING ME BUT THEY DONT BC I LOOK NORMAL!!!
i'm slowly (very. slowly.) starting to accept the fact that i'm just a human being and not a video game character (😩) who looks like a 10/10 at all times. it's simply unrealistic and clothes/makeup/appearance should be the LAST thing a person should be judged on. but at the same time, it really can tell you a lot about a person. i guess that only works when their appearance is intentional..
this blog is kinda stupid tbh but i wanna know if anyone else relates or just wants to add onto this topic.
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Gluma
While it’s not under the same theme of self-perception vs. others’ perceptions, I kinda understand the feeling of being ashamed of trying to be what you want to be :0
A major flaw I have is my lack of communication, which pretty much isolates me from everyone I know u_u I’ve had many opportunities to act like a normal human being who likes a certain video game and/or manga with people who literally like similar things as me and would never judge me but I never take up those chances to speak up because I just struggle with communicating in general!! Yes, I’d love to talk about my 5K-word analysis on that character i love that character so much <333 but the moment I try to ramble about anything I’m passionate about, I’m unable to form the words that truly, truly capture my emotion for it. And so, I leave people with the impression that I’m only “mildly” interested in certain stuff when, in reality, I spend hours talking to myself about those certain stuff.
Of course, this spreads to a whole lot of other topics, especially stuff like mental health issues where I can very much talk about my personal struggles with it but I never do because I just can’t properly orchestrate the sentences needed to convey that “yes, I understand what it’s like to have depression”
I want to be an open person who can clearly communicate about my thoughts, feelings, hobbies, etc. but I always struggle when I attempt to do so to the point that I always go back to my reclusive self since that’s easier and more in-line with what people think of me, anyway. Basically: “wow I wish people could read my brain and not have to think of the me that’s based on my failed attempts at opening up”
Either way, we’ll get through this ( ù_ú)/\(ù_ú )
ngl i think i struggle with communication too bc i also find it easier to go along with other people's opinions/decisions and bc i think i have people pleasing tendencies ^_^
yeah hopefully we get thru this!
by holdmylove; ; Report