april 10th

i woke up throughout the night and at around 3 i just stayed up on my phone. i got up at around 5 am which i normally only do when i pull an all nighter. i made coffee for myself and my mom. i feel productive but i also have a nagging exhaustion feeling in the back of my head. i am trying not to be negative lol but its just so easy to talk my feelings out even if no one wants to read thesee. just documenting my life i guess. im catching up on some work that i have to finish before the last semester ends. my friends dont really plan on hanging out which is really distressing because i always overrthink. theyre super busy. jobs and junior year with SATs. i always text them about hanging out and going to the movies or just driving around blasting katy perrys old hits. they never really respond or talk about when theyre free. sometimes i wish i could be busy like that. it would either make me super tired or feel super useful. i wish i had closer friends.. like yeah i tell them weird shit and flirt w them in a "friend-ish" manner, but i dont know if i can call them friends.. i guess i just view them as acquaintances. my kitty, pip, is here to say hi. hes a shy black cat. hes about 9 years old which is crazy now that i think about it.