Joy

I will live by your laws if I have to, but the punishment will be watching me become the shell of a person you once prayed for. You claim that you do this for my joy but I will not be joyful, I will not be happy. You will hold me as if I am a child and stare into my dying eyes. You cradle me one last time before I am no longer yours to keep. You will watch me get taken away by someone you trust and know and I will die that day. I will be in pain and agony, I will suffer and in the name of joy; you will let me. In the name of God. Savor those moments when I was still naïve enough to give you my secrets, because you can no longer hear. Enjoy the times that I felt safe, because now my face shows constant fear. Know that he will understand that he has taken, from you, someone incapable of love, that I will serve out of duty and law; your law. He will know and feel the emptiness in my heart towards him, he will be discontent and so will I. You say that even if the relationship is gone you should stay married, so we do. We will live by your laws, with no complaints, but we will be joyless. We will stare at you with empty eyes because I died the day you let me follow your path, when you politely asked me to give up my freedom for a higher cause. He will have wasted his life, I will no longer have mine.