torn but not broken

[Monday, April 8, 2024]

Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way, and for me, it came in the form of a torn Achilles about a month ago. Suddenly, I found myself in a foot cast, navigating a world where dependence became my new reality.

With my mom back from the Philippines, she's become my rock. In this journey of dependence, my mother emerged as my unwavering support system. From homemade lunches to words of encouragement, she has been by my side every step of the way. The role reversal, though humbling, has brought a sense of comfort and connection that I never anticipated. It's funny how life comes full circle; now, as an adult, I find myself being cared for by the person who once did it all for me as a child. This experience has given her a renewed sense of purpose, and I've rediscovered the depth of our bond.

This injury has been a wakeup call, reminding me of the fragility of the human body. The loss of muscle, the sudden halt to my active lifestyle – it's been a tough pill to swallow. But in the midst of it all, I've found a newfound appreciation for the strength I once took for granted. This injury may be a setback, but it's also a reminder to cherish what my body can do.

Thursday marks my second check-up, and I'll admit, I'm feeling a mix of nerves and anticipation. The uncertainty of whether my ligaments are healing properly weighs heavily on my mind, but I'm holding onto hope and trusting in the process. I find myself battling negative thoughts and overthinking, but deep down, I know everything will be okay. It's a lesson in patience, faith, and resilience.

And then there's the isolation. Weeks spent indoors, disconnected from the world. But amidst the solitude, there have been moments of connection – like the unexpected visit from my long-lost friend from Vegas. We hadn't spoken in years, but when she showed up at my doorstep, it felt like no time had passed at all. She slept over, and we talked for hours.

Being cooped up indoors for weeks on end has its challenges too. The absence of sunlight on my skin, the lack of fresh air - it's like being cut off from the world outside. But amidst it all, I've found a newfound appreciation for the little things. This isolation won't last forever, and when I finally step outside again, I'll do so with a renewed sense of gratitude.

And then there's my furry companion, who has been a constant source of comfort and love throughout this journey. His presence reminds me of the beauty of unconditional love and companionship, even in the darkest of times.

As I reflect on this journey, one word echoes loud and clear: gratitude. Gratitude for the love and support of my mom and friends, for the resilience of the human spirit, and for the unexpected blessings that have come my way.

So here's to embracing the messy, the raw, and the honest. Here's to finding strength in vulnerability and holding onto hope against all odds. I can't wait to come back 100%, stronger and more appreciative than ever before.

- Marvin