diary entry #3

hello! i was inactive here for a while but missed the feeling i get when i'm on here. it's almost like a different universe, kinda hard to explain but it's very nice. there's no expectations really, i don't care as much what other people think of me here, which is nice. 

i officially got diagnosed with autism a couple weeks back, so now there's no doubt anymore, and that feels pretty good, but i've been struggling a lot as well. it's a hard thing to get used to, being disabled. i can't handle most things i could before, and i need way more support from my family and everyone around me. it's a weird feeling. i had such big aspirations before, and i know that i will get back on my feet again, but getting to know the real me for the first time in a long time is hard and will take some getting used to. i just need to listen to what my body tells me and not push myself too hard to fit in, i can do that:)

i usually spend my days sleeping. i've completely turned my days around and i'm having a hard time turning it back again. my mom tries to help me wake up around 10 but because im up so late i fall asleep again after we've talked. i might start staying at my dads place some weeks, just to get my schedule back on track and so i don't turn it around again. i really need support from the psychiatry as well, but they haven't reached out to me yet, and a private one is waaay too expensive!

anyways, for now i'm doing fine. i just need things to align better. it's okay to struggle, that's important to remember. 

on a lighter note i'm saving up to go to a convention happening close to where i live in may! i'm going as princess peach from the mario tennis game! it's gonna be a lot of fun, and maybe i'll meet some cool people there:> i might post pictures when i'm in costume, but we'll see if im brave enough hehe. i just need to fix the wig and the tennis racket and then it's ready to wear! i hope whoever's reading this is having a good day so far, bye for now^^