poetry entry 1 - Time

I look at the clock
Tick tock tick
I can feel myself aging
But yet I still feel so small

The world keeps growing bigger
It expects me to follow
But I stay trapped by the clock
Forced to watch it tick

I look at it and ponder
My life as I knew it is over
There is no going back
I can only keep marching forward

I feel as though there is a tear
Trying to suck me back into the past
I desperately want to follow
But something is keeping me tied down

I look at the clock with anger ringing in my ears
I collapse against its splintering mahogany base
Balling my fists, screaming
Why can’t you go back?!”

I don’t want to go
Don’t force me to match forward
I want to go back to the way it was before
Back to a time of innocence, bliss, and pure happiness

My hands are ripped away from the clock
I’m dragged down Time’s Arrow, splinters adorn my hands
Wide eyed and grief stricken, I’m forced to watch the clock again
Only this time, it’s growing away from me

Times arrow never stops
It only keeps marching forward
Dancing upon the tightly bound linear fabric of this reality
Until you expire, giving up your spirit to the abstract

I don’t want to think of such things
I don’t want to look it in the eye
But something takes my face in it’s hands
And violently twists my head to face the beast head on

I see it in its horrific entirety
A looming feeling of dread washes over me
Everything is changing, nothing is the same
The beast tilts its head in confusion as I start to flail and panic

Let me go! Release me at once!
I want to go back, I want my mom!
Mom? Mommy?? Can you hear me??
Please come help me! I’m all alone, and I’m scared!

Suddenly
I fall
I’m not where I’m supposed to be
I’m in the void

There is no beast
There is no clock
Only darkness
And my scabby knees

I look down and see hello kitty bandaids on my knees
My hair is cut short like Dora’s
My two front teeth are missing
My hands are so, so small

Happily, I embrace the void
Feeling the darkness entangle my small, fragile body
I smile, feeling as though my wishes have finally been fulfilled
I feel tired, so I go to sleep

…

…

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Why won’t I wake up?