death

I literally feel so stupid rn,, why does nothing good ever happen to me I swear the world has something against me I'm so close to just giving up with everything lmfaoo. ANYWAYS I cut my bangs todayyy and I did indeed go get kebab with my friends.. I got food from the kids menu tho so I wouldnt feel so embarrassed about not being able to eat the bigger portion XD also I fixed my glasses they look (almost) normal againn!! >_< I'm propably going to sleep soon.. I'm questioning all the choices that led me to be the person I am today I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that it's not worth it, I should have just blow my brains out when I had the chance,, lol anyways im having an interview about a scholarship soonn,, wish me luck (made me think of that one song that goes like WISHH ME LUCKK AS YOU WAVE GOODBYEEEE CHEERIOO HERE I GOOO ON MY WAAYYYYYY WITH A CHEERRR NOT A TEEAARRRRRRR MAKE IT GAAYYY GIVE ME A SMILEEEE I CAN KEEEPP ALL THE WHILEEEE IN MY HEAARRTTT WHILE IM AWAYYYYY TILLL WE MEET ONCE AGAIN YOU AND IIIIII) I love vera lynn XD anyways guyyyss I'm so done with everything, I'm praying that god will set me free from my agony soon this is too much for me to handle, LOL!!! andd yeah also cant wait for summer,, it's so pretty when the fields are all green and full of flowers and the only worry I have is to make it home before my parents wake up,, I love summer so much yall dont get it u dont fw summer like I do I swear nobody ever understands when I explain the feeling it gives me it's like I'm having a free two month trial of heaven,, I love sitting on fields with my friends and painting pictures of my loved ones and watering the flowers and walking along the beach and going to museums and wandering around the city center and taking pictures of pretty churches and visiting my friend's island and fishing and long walks by the fields and finding old houses crying because there were once happy people living there too and taking polaroids with my friends to put in my wallet and eating ice cream and wearing pretty dresses and going to the sauna and the sun setting for only an hour for almost a month straight and making flower crowns to give to people and and and U JUST DONT GET IT. 

anyways ty for listening to my rant, love to everyone who read the whole thing, I'll tear my heart out and send it to you via mail. goodnight >_<!!!1!!!11!1!!1!11!! !,