gayness and middle school relationsips

so I liked this girl for a bit we'll call her H, and theres nothing really bad about her but she peer pressures people sometimes, but I'm in middle school this shit is normal, like I liked her and thought she was cute before we started talking, and she was talking to someone at the time, and the thing is we never really clicked but we both tried too which made it feel right, and turns out after two months of talking it turned out she never liked me, thought I was like medium ugly, and didn't like my personality, and the way I found out was because my friend who set us up told me, when she fucking knew like a week after we started talking. I think maybe H had started to like me after she told my friend that, but still, she didn't like me but still accepted my gifts, and gave me gifts because she felt "pressured too", but she wasn't, and after that whole thing went down, I cant find woman pretty in the sense I would date them; honestly I think after that whole thing went down I turned gay, I cannot imagine myself with a woman without being sick, I think I always felt that way but realized it after that. like I would think of the future and think of me living with a boy or having a husband, maybe it was just my stupid mind, but I didn't think I was gay when I was thinking that sort of shit. It's all so confusing, and being gay would make me weird, idrc tho, I'd rather be happy than be normal. that's kinda how I always thought, its so weird, one thing out of that and other failed talking stages I figured out I def have a type, dark hair and dark eyes, so kinda a win??? this is kinda just my online diary lol, I also just needed to get this off my chest because what she (H) did hurt me a lot. I needed to talk, I hope everyone reading this (or not reading this) has a good day, night, afternoon, whatever

-lennox