... I need mental help at this rate.

I'm so fucking tired. 

i just wanna be left alone at this rate, i am tired. I've had a stressful week due to, uh... reasons that i will not mention (only certain people will know what I'm on about), and I'm so fucking tired of having to vent every single day just because of it. I'm so clingy, I really should just stop speaking, I really should just stop talking for once. 

I hate this so much. i really do, i just wanted things to be back to normal, how things used to be.. But even that's too much to ask for, it may be for an indefinite time but one of my fears had come true, one of my dearest friends on discord literally cutting communication with everyone on there and on spacehey to the point they'd unfriend me... this friend did so much to me that they don't even realise and if it weren't for them, I would've never found my purpose on life... 

But now that they are taking an indefinite break, which Is understandable.. I just feel as if everything was my fault... I know it wasn't, but I still can't help but to think that it was my fault.. im overreacting I understand.. I should shut up because all I ever did was make situations worse to the point i had a fit of rage and decided to be a bit honest to the friend... I was mad, pissed even. But can you blame me? There was drama going on between my online friend group, yet again, and I was scared that it may of ended up going too far... 

and it did, it got too far. even if it's for a small or big amount of time, the friend I was talking about before has unfriended me here and on discord, it was probably something I said and I had definitely deserved it. 

I'm scared. I really am. if I had never invited friends from different friend groups to a server and formed another friend group with people from that server and their servers, there would've been no drama... i know I'm in the wrong, I know I am. 

I just wish things were back to normal, I just wish none of this ever happened. I just wish I... Never of invited these friends to the server. It was a good opportunity for them to meet the aforementioned friend, but... When personalities and opinions clash between each other, of course that's where shit gets crazy. 

I just wish I never even opened my mouth to even contribute in the argument. I just... Ugh...