Dreams and reality

• Doesn't remember the last 12 months of her life at university 
• Starts having dreams of her nervous breakdown - a mashup of conversations and places she's already been to 
• Wakes up thinking she 'lost her mind' at a funfair with past friends 
• Wakes up thinking she sent a video of her university 'campus' to friends when the campus in her dreams is procedurally generated and she hasn't used social media for 3 months. 

Spending a few minutes everyday trying to untangle what was real and what was not real. Despite my dreams screaming uncanny valley.

Today is the birthday party of my childhood friend who I haven't spoken to in a week. Staring at my phone as it rings everytime she calls. The familiar feeling of emptiness. The feeling of giving your soul, your entire catalog, all your fears and hopes to a person and receiving a mudcake as a prize. Realizing I once again don't have a friend but a leach. The leach has been on me for more than a decade and now it has to go.