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will black gay ppl ever have a safe space? advice for black gays

its really hard being black and gay because its like low of the low,

so ur born black which can be weird sometimes especially if you live in a place where your a minority and its hard. there's so much pride and beauty in being black although its hard to find it

ur born gay and you get alienated a lot, homophobia, however there are some lgbtq kids / groups that you can join in

the case is that when youre black and gay its just hard to find a space where people are actually cool and kind. the good parts of being black almost get cancelled out because the black community won't accept you, especially africa! it is NOT a good thing to be gay and african. You can't really fit in with the other gay kids because there are almost no gay black kids (where i live). if you don't exactly connect with the gay kids' interests, you'll kinda sit there and look stupid which isn't fun.

gay kids who are non-black almost never have to deal with dls (down-low guys) and in my school never get bothered, but black gay kids (me) do all the time and its really hard to tell if someone actually likes you or they are just saying that to get your hopes up or interest you. 

another issue with being gay and black is that you can get really bullied and have to deal with shit if youre not really pretty / skinny. its like a triple whammy to kids in my school if you are gay, black, and fat. thankfully i dont go through these but its just an observation ive made seeing others. your forced to always look your best or you'll just be seen as a freak. at the least guys don't talk to you or talk shit about you.

coming out to ur parents is a death wish

figuring out virginity and s3x is kinda hard because it's really hard to recover if you fuck with the wrong person and they say something or even worse record it.. like i said before the dl will always end up on top so if you wanna fuck with dls know that they're using you and you can lose your reputation for that. if they're planning to come out that's one thing but if they aren't? don't get attached i promise you hit that block button baby

another thing is friends telling people about your business. if youre gay and black/brown please don't tell girls or ur friends abt who ur fw, because it will get out and make you look stupid. exposing dls never makes you look cute or come out looking better because nobody really cares. if the person is more popular than you they can say whatever and people will just roll with it, if they aren't nobody's really gonna gaf. it wont be safe for you because trust me some of these dls will kill people who expose them, its messed up and a reason how gay ppl b getting killed.

stereotyping is soo harsh and its really bad. if you are anywhere near drama you get stereotyped as a messy drama loving gay and its so annoying. trust me if youre gay dont address any drama if its not about you, they'll put a label on you and people will just see u as that. its hard as it is so dont make it any worse by being a "messy gay"

maybe it gets better in high school? i won't know until i get there but for the most part if you're gay and black going through it in school id just say try to improve your looks, always have self confidence or fake it till you make it, keep your head up high but never do the most. find people who you can really stand by, if you can't don't worry! be your own bff. LOOK YOUR BEST AT ANY EVENTS !

go online and find places where you feel comfortable to talk and maybe get online friends if you can't get any in real life. most importantly look out for yourself, think twice before you do anything w anyone, and stay strong bc we got this!


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baller

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i'm sorry you're going through this, I hope it gets better for you. I know that ballroom voguing spaces have a lot of queer POC because they created/started it, that might be worth looking into if you haven't already. best of luck


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Xx_Ria_xX

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I KNOW RIGHT it genuinely been such a struggle, I'm surprised I could find anyone who was just like me


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RIGHT also i saw u play roblox my user is Riochix add me!

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NeverNcolor_13

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Berlin Berghain notorious queer space


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Arius

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I'm sorry it's so hard for you. <3

I really appreciate you sharing your experiences on this. I dated a black pansexual woman off and on for three years long distance and she told me some of her struggles with finding a supportive community, but she never laid it out so clearly like that.

I will say that life in general gets WAY better AFTER highschool. Mandatory schooling is basically jail for kids; it's literally a prison culture. Once you get to the post-secondary level, it's optional and everyone is there because they want to be. Plus you're all more mature. The whole vibe changes. I remember getting to college and noticing really quickly that nobody wanted to kick my ass anymore and that I actually felt safe and could breathe. Hang in there. You've got this.


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altar

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yea tbh it gets better in high school, especially in a big one, bc there is more people, and more people = more diversity! (at least where i'm at) some things i suggest going into highschool is mayb trying to join some after school groups! it may not b the same where u love w how many groups there arr, but joining a group or doing a hobby w other ppl is a great way to find new friends u have things in common with!


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thank uuu im already in a club now so im gnna try to find one in hs

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Enesi

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Clock it clock it clock it sis!! tired of the misconceptions.


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