I think I'm becoming a neet again

The last few months have consistently been just a little rotting. I fit the age category now of a neet. I can't get a job, most likely due to my online presence. My friends are cool but I just can't grasp the fact they actually enjoy me. It feels odd, almost like it's fake. 

Everything feels fake even. My eyes and brain don't want to work. My relationship isn't too great either, well, I think I'm telling myself that. Maybe, it's just me. I don't enjoy spending so much money to see someone. Insane amount of money, that, I don't even have. 

My room is becoming cluttered once again, but the feeling is nice, it's comforting, it's my clutter. To be honest, if society didn't waffle about beauty standards and such, it wouldn't be so hard to fit in. But I'll keep on until we turn back to animals and loose all our memories, which, I hope in turn is soon. 

I've been playing project diva mega mix to consume my time, I may go out with a friend today, I don't know.