and with that, i exit

to be honest, im leaving

not blogging with spacehey, everything, might even continue blogging here im not really on about that

my roommates ignoring me and hes the last person ive got

so, im beginning to pack all my things, just the essentials

i hope to leave and go somewhere new, i dont know where, i dont know if im making any sense to myself

maybe falmouth? maybe plymouth? maybe exeter? maybe bristol? 

anywhere i end up that i can live in

its going to be hard as i cant just turn up somewhere and live there within a day but i will make it work

ive camped in abandoned buildings before so i know how to do that, i could squat?

i dont think ill actually go through with it until i actually find somewhere to live

like ive not been paying rent for a month and wont pay the rent for this flat the rest of the time im here because im getting evicted anyway so all the money ive kept i can put towards rent elsewhere

hopefully

in other news

life is boring

all humans are domesticated to an entity that never existed in the first place

why dont you become this entity? have you ever seen a goldfish in a tiny bowl with nothing in it, now think of lots of goldfish in a huge tank with a fulfilled life, a tank full of various things, now imagine everything slowly got taken away and they didnt notice because they had so much in the first place, life is getting worse but none of them can figure out why because they dont notice everything being taken away, in the end its just a huge but empty tank and the goldfish have nothing to do, theyre eventually going to go against eachother just to pass time, does this sound familiar? am i making sense?

treat yourself. spend all your money on secondhand dvds of films youve never even heard of, you can either watch them all or just leave them to rot in the corner of your room or in a box until around 10 years later youll get a guy around to fix the electrics and he says that he enjoys one of those films youve never seen but own, you pretend you enjoy it by trying to figure out the entire script from the neck of the box where it says the title

and, does anyone actually collect coin souvenirs? from the machines that charge you £1 or 50p?

who? who collects them? are they just there ? who has them

my alarm clock is wrong, everything is wrong

i am not a chaotic person.

i like to pretend im one of those people that go to sleep with the tv on but i dont

yet im glad im (partly) sober just for a little while, would never say im "clean" as i am a very very filthy person in many ways

thats some extra money then

nobody wants to live a life where they eat breakfast, drive to work, work, eat lunch at work, work. go home from work, cook a shitty microwave meal, have a shower, go to bed and repeat that but what choice do you have

i can fix myself somehow and do that. or i could be like this. i will apply for jobs when i can actually do shit

the dial for changing the temp of the heating has blood on it i cant wash off without messing up the heating

youre not too kind, the world is too cruel and bored

still growing out my hair

people from camborne arent dicks like i joke they are, they just live in a shithole and if i lived there i would probably be horrible to everyone too

this is based on my perception of like 5 people

but thats a lot

isnt it ?

throw me in a pit of fire and id convince myself that i can fix it and then ill get upset that i get burnt yet forgive so fast

im progressing towards being a happier person and that involves thinking. this blog is me thinking

jam your head in your dvd player it wont break it i promise youll get free milkshake 2012 olympics flavoured

my gloves are ripped and very useless but i can never bring myself to throw them away]

dear people in cities: get tweezers and pluck each led light off the board that tell you the train times, you know you want to do it

laptop with a  mouse laptop with a  mouse laptop with a  mouse 

i know that its the morning/night whatever you think this time is but i should go for a walk

i spend a few nights a week awake and that is okay but should be less regular

my roommate snuck into the navy base and got caught but nobody cared

i dont know, thats as interesting as it gets

and he wont stop stealing my beer

and leaving drugs everywhere, wow, really helping me keep sober!

what a wanker

i do however feel it is my fault

bt phone box still advertising reverse charge calls, for all you know that could be me! you know how they are connected to wifi now? i could just be a sentient phonebox posting things!

im not but i could be

i own too many fridge magnets

nothing induced nothing

6 billion unsent texts from having no credit left

no topups. purity.

i will be leaving for good and have made up my mind. might do blog updates maybe not

of course im going to get bored of living in a town i could compare to white room torture

so i post this blog maybe one person will see and i go for a walk past 2am, go to sleep and begin trying to live

sogn of the blog: