HRT Intake Tomorrow

I'm going to start my transitioning journey starting March 28, 2024.

I've been stuck between a rock and a hard place since I was young, especially when it came to gender. Hell, even myself as a person. I've experienced a lot of traumatizing things- things that a normal human being should ever go through, but I don't think I would've NOT chosen to be FtM. I'm not sure if there was a choice to begin with. Was I hiding myself? Was it outside forces influencing me? Do I experience enough dysphoria? Can't more lifestyle changes 'fix' me?...Does it even matter, when I'm at the bottom of the barrel?

I kid- sort of.

My outlook on myself being transgender... is a little bittersweet. I mean, I don't think anyone out there wants to find out that they were never comfortable in their own skin. Seen as abnormal- a freak, to the rest of the world.

Sometimes I think finding out that I wanted to be a man, not in the wishful sense but the miserable, desperate, and primordial hoping kind, was the biggest punishment the devil could've brought me.

I still do, in a way.

But there's a relief, almost like closure, that I finally have an answer to why I feel like this. I still know it's an arduous route. A tough one, with the changing political and social climate- everyone eating each other alive even in the most supportive communities because a box is what everyone's ever known-

But an answer is an answer.

Goodbye, my molted skin. You'll see me on the path to freedom.