boring day

it’s a new blog and even though it’s only been a week or so since the last one, a lot has happened! 

While i’m still homeless I did try and see some new places on facebook marketplace because it was the only chance i had to really find somewhere i could afford. i went on to see if anyone would want a roommate, and i found one that was perfect for me, so i called them up and went on over. I payed the deposit with the rent and got the key and thought that would be it. For reference the place had like 8 people in one place and everyone slept in the same room with bunk beds but i didn’t really mind it was better than a car. Back to the actual renting of the place tho, apparently the person that rented me it was beefing with the other manager of the home and he didn’t want anyone new while the one who gave me the key did. So that led to me not being able to stay for even a night and even less money to my name (〒︿〒). 

I was told to call the cops but i really just wanted to leave since that took up sm of my time at that point and the money i gave was alr sent and everything..

After all that tho i’m just in my car now basically just going through each day now hoping i can find a place soon..

One thing i never really thought about was how lonely it really was to have no one to come back from work to say hi to or anything at all. i grew up in a big family so i was always used to someone to see everyday, but now it’s all sort of just isolating..

Because of that i’m just hoping my friends want to hang out with me since i need to see someone ik every once in a while. I try not to be too clingy tho even if it might be harder now..i’m now doing more 1 on 1 hangouts with my friends because of it and while i always enjoy it i’m really scared of being too boring since i’m used to being in a group setting usually. One of my friends brought up how she keeps having to carry the conversations with me, and that’s not surprising to hear since she wasn’t the first to say that to me but i just feel really bad for it now （*+﹏+*). 

ive lost a lot of family to get to this point and i wouldn’t want to lose any friends due to how socially inept i am..i always really enjoy hanging out no matter if it’s a 1 on 1 or a group setting but talking to people is just so nerve wracking and hard that i can’t really make it a fun time for them. i just hope they get that i really am trying but just nothing comes to mind whenever i try to talk. 

I do have this little dnd campaign im doing now tho and it’s a blast! it’s a really good change of pace than everything else and i hope that i can do it a lot more often. 

Besides that nothing has really gone on, hopefully by the next blog it’s a much better situation!!