ME VS. THE WORLD #1

Sometimes I wish I could restart my life over. Fix everything I'm doing wrong now. It's hard hanging out with friends who seem to have their life together, and I'm just now starting to even experience life. I always felt awkward around people, but I always would blame them for it. Over break, I was under a lot of things, and I felt like complete ass. I felt like a loser. I wish I was smarter sometimes. I always feel clueless and dumb. And I feel like my friends don't like me. But maybe it's just in my head. I really want to get medicated. My family would always try call me dramatic, and they blame my generation for being emotional. Is it selfish to cry when I get yelled at? Is it selfish to genuinely feel left out from your friends or to feel like they don't like you because of who knows what? IDK. I just don't feel proud of me. I feel ugly sometimes. I want money to buy clothes, I want to go out and party every weekend just because I can, I want to fit in. I just don't know how..

Maybe I'm the problem.