To have children or not? One of the things that interests people the most

note: maybe my opinion will change in the future, but it's my opinion now (I'm 15)

I always see the differences when a man says he doesn't want children, and when a woman says she doesn't want children. It sounds "sexist" but that's how I see it, always when a man says he doesn't want children people say "he must want to develop his career" or "he's a cook wants to invest his time in himself and his partner" but when it comes to women it's always "You're so selfish", "When you grow up you'll understand", "You're still too young to understand if you want", of course not all cases are like that, but most of them are, for example my grandmother and my grandfather were angry with my mother because she didn't want to have children , but they said it's okay for my uncle (her brother) not to have children and spend his time on himself. Maybe it's different in every culture because I'm Russian and Ukrainian for example, but it seems that the man's decisions are always made and not the woman's, but I'll explain why I don't want to have children

1.I can't see myself as a mother, And I can easily get angry like my mother, and ruin my child's life because I can't control it that much

2.I want to invest time in my career and my future job, in my country it is very difficult and expensive to get an apartment near the workplace where I want to work

3.Too expensive, it's really expensive to have a child in these years and I don't want my child to suffer just because his mother doesn't have enough money

4.I have sleep problems that even pills don't solve and screaming is the last thing I need, anyway every night someone is shot in my neighborhood and I hear enough screaming

5.I have a gag reflex, I can't handle changing my baby's diaper because I'll throw up the second I try just to change it

But of course, as I said at the beginning, my opinion could change, and if I have children there are some things I do want to keep

1.To give my child as much as I can, but not more than I can, so that they doesn't get spoiled. Of course, if the child asks for a phone at a certain age and I can't quite afford it, I will get it, but not in the case that my child will come and demand it from me

2.Basic education at a young age, which I see that most of the parents of the children in my class did not give them. If I hear that my child yelled/hit someone for no reason,they will of course receive the punishment they deserves, but let them learn from the punishment. I will teach them as much as possible about basic respect and if the friends/children from the class affect them negatively, I will sit with them as much as necessary and I will talk to him about it

3.I will not bring my child a smartphone at an early age, they will be able to use my computer, but let's say not a tablet/iPad, and I will try as much as possible to protect them from the Internet (which my parents didn't do, but I'm not mad at them for that)

4.I will never post my kids on Facebook, Instagram, or any social media. I already talked about it in my previous blog (https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1133174) I don't take the risk that some pedophiles will do something with my children's posts.

5.Of course I will keep all my and my mother's old clothes from the 90s, 2000s, 2010s and my clothes from old second-hand stores because maybe my children will want these clothes and I say - let them enjoy, I just want them to have a nice style

6.I will show them all the old movies and series that I have seen before and I will not show them the new versions, according to ages. Of course, in the end they can see the movies that are not their age because they will find out through social networks, but still I will recommend them what they are looking for

This is my opinion, I wonder if it will change :)